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Support
Groups
Like myself and my family, there are many
people who have left the United Pentecostal Church over the last few years. We
all know what a very difficult experience and process this has been. One of the
more challenging aspects of this transition is moving from one fellowship to
another. Usually, it entails leaving a network of friends and family, some of
whom have very strong and even resentful reactions to what we are doing. At the
same time we seek to enter new relationships and fellowship. A great need during
the transition is for companionship with other Christians. This can be an uneven
experience. The need for personal support from other Christians is acute. We all
need friends, fellowship and support from strong Christians.
Then there others who are
weighing whether they should leave their fellowship. This is very serious decision and is not
to be made lightly without serious thought, prayer, and wise counsel. Nothing
could be more important than one's faith. Equally important is the decision
about those with whom you choose to follow and align yourself. There are many
issues and personal struggles wrapped up in this decision. The advice and
instruction one receives is of the utmost importance.
When one faces
major surgery one does not casually consult a plumber or car mechanic. No! One
seeks the help of a specialist who has extensive training and skill in a specialized area of medicine. I am not being prudish here.
Understandably, it is
natural to talk with friends and family about what we are going through. Beyond
that, I
am talking about where we get input for the most important issues of our life. When one is facing dramatic spiritual decisions
one should be very
selective with whom one talks. Many well meaning people who sincerely wish to
help us are not always qualified. One should seek out the help and care of
those are who truly prepared and able to help them. Obviously, this is easier
said than done. It may take time, effort,
and making mistakes along the way. Nevertheless, one's soul and the impact
this decision has on family, friends, and loved-ones, merit such effort. Just
as it is in the medical world, we try one physician and over time we find out
whether we are helped or not. If not, we ask referrals for other physicians and
visit them. A similar process is often necessary for finding a new church home
for spiritual nurture.
In light of this, I
would like to say something which I think is very important. Please do not
take these remarks are condescending or judgmental. There are various
groups on the internet who are offering varying degrees of spiritual support.
Some of these seek to help people through the process of leaving an abusive
church or an unorthodox movement or denomination. I believe that, for the most
part, they are sincere and caring. I also believe that generally they
do not mean to be of harm intentionally. Therefore, what I wish to share I say
carefully, in love and out of concern:
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I understand
the desire to give personal and emotional support to fellow Christians who
are struggling through serious issues. That is a noble thing and much
needed. I am involved in that, myself. However, too often the discussions on
these sites enters into a form of emotional airing followed by counseling of
an unwise and unskillful type.
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I
have found that there are groups who seek to help people but often only
confuse them more. My own experience of frequently visiting some of these
web sites is that over time the subject matters grow more and more
eccentric, tangential, and confusing to visitors. Various odd doctrinal
topics are introduced and then argued about by the group. These eccentric
topics usually have little bearing on the Gospel essentials or even
wholesome Christian living. Then there are threads which go on such tangents that they
even forget what they started out talking about. In the process they lose the much needed focus of Biblical truth. Other times,
disagreement between the various members often leaves very important
biblical subjects dangling, and participants left with no more enlightenment
than when the topic began.
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The
degree of real biblical wisdom, training and experience on many sites leaves
much to be desired. This is not a light issue. One may think that the group
will come up with the right answers if they all share their ideas. The fact
is, the pooling of biblical ignorance can be a very dangerous thing. History
is replete with movements and groups who started out this very same way. I
am afraid that many who leave an unorthodox or even heretical group for an
internet group may be leaving the frying pan for the fire theologically.
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Another
concern is that two or three people dominate these sites, acting as the
"experts" while in actuality are very limited in their knowledge
and understanding. It is very difficult to deal with someone who has limited
knowledge about what they are saying, and yet is very assertive about it.
Often these people do not even know they are dominating. It is just their
personality to fill any vacuum of leadership they find. Again, one may find
that they have left their church or group, led by a charismatic pastor or
leader who taught them unbiblical things, to join an internet group and be
compelled by a domineering, charismatic internet personality. Same song,
only the second verse.
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Now
I share one of
the most troubling conclusions, with which I have seriously wrestled. I
cannot help but conclude that there are some (certainly not all or the
majority) who have left either the UPCI or other such groups because they are people who
do not want any leadership or guidance from anyone. They wish to have the
control and seek their own interests. They do not truly seek the freedom
that Christ gives from sin, false gospels or fleshly bondage. But, I am afraid, they simple wish to avoid accountability to other Christians and
responsibility to a local gathering of Christians. They see themselves as
"Spirit led" and are autonomous, floating wherever their own
impulses take them. This is a much different issue than that with which
In Christ Alone! Ministries is engaged. We do not seek to encourage people
to be rebellious, intractable, and "free agent" Christians. It
is our conviction that after one has carefully, prayerfully, under wise
counsel, decided to leave their church for clear biblical reasons, that one
should seek another church home where they can hear the Gospel, be led in
spiritual growth, be accountable, and share their financial and spiritual
gifts for the up building of that local group as well as the greater Kingdom
of God.
I want to make
it very clear that In Christ Alone! Ministries does not identify with any
particular support groups at this time. Nor have we placed our imprimatur on
any of these sites, because
we do not wish direct people to places where they might become confused or more
disillusioned. We are not saying that some are doing wrong or that they are
not helping people. Nor are we saying one should not visit such a site. In
fact, there are occasions when wisdom and biblical truth are conveyed on such
sites. What we are saying is, at this time, as a ministry,
we choose not to refer visitors to our site to such support groups. This is to
tell those visiting our site to be cautious where they seek for help.
I am
concerned that many within the UPCI look at the attitudes,
confusion, and aimlessness of some former UPCI members and are disappointed
and repulsed. This greatly hinders any effort to speak with UPCI members about
the Gospel, because they see the disarray into which some former members have
fallen. As a result, they will not allow themselves to consider the truly serious Biblical problems of the
UPCI because they are alarmed at what they see in some who have left.
What is most
needed are people, especially ministers and pastors, with solid in-depth knowledge of Scripture, training and
experience in counseling and care-giving, to help those in this type of
transition. And, just as important, there is a great need for people with
spiritual discernment concerning the things of God. Leaving a group is
not about whether one likes the music, church government, or the pastor's
personality. It is more serious that merely "being led by the Spirit"
to do something different. This radical action should only be out of serious
concern over the doctrinal teaching of a group or movement. The central issue
should be whether the biblical Gospel is being preached. If that is lacking,
then one needs to take the painful steps of moving their family into a Gospel
preaching church family. And for that there is a great need for support and
care. Not a new church group, but as a mid-wife ministry, helping people from
one group to the next.
We do not say these things or make this announcement out of ill feelings for any
individual or any support groups. We pray for you and your sincere efforts. We
even hope to visit various groups sites and participate in them. We
trust you will understand our greater concerns about the type of care hurting
people need at such critical times of their life.
May God grant us all the grace we
need to please Him!
In Christ Alone!
Bernie Gillespie
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